I lay on my bed while typing this entry and I'm not in my mood.
People nowadays make me feel so frustrated. I hate to think about them.
Even though they were from the past, but yeah still.
They left a deep impression that I might not forget.
We ignore each other and try to pretend all these people doesn't exist but deep down we know it wasn't supposed to be like this.
I mean us. Yes, us.
I know I should let go all these shit memories in my mind.
Kick out all these memories but yet, I'm still thinking about it.
Why? Why people always disturbing my life?
I don't give any damn to em.
I smiled and act like nothing is wrong its called putting shit inside and acting strong.
But deep inside my heart, no one knows how does it feels.
You know what? I've been thinking too hard.
I hate getting flashbacks from things I don't want to remember.
Respect people's feeling.
Even if it doesn't mean anything to you but it could be mean everything to them.
And guess what, I would say damn you bitch for all the bullshit that I've been through.
As sometimes happens, I regret with my life.
Thought it's easy to move, but I was 101% wrong.
People come and go in my life and I don't give any fuck at their life but they left a stain in my life.
Everything has changed now, and one thing you should know, I barely even know myself.
I just don't know why.
You know how funny when I'm having a moment when I pretend like I don't care but actually deep in my heart I feel like I wanna kill her for real.
People don't change but they're just pretend.
Dear people in the past that came into my life,
I don't hate you but I'm just not necessarily excited about your existence.
Sometimes strangers mean world to me and sometimes I think they're just bullshit.
Sometimes, I say things that I don't even mean.
And other times, I say things that I do mean.
I say things that I end up regretting.
I don't think what about I'm saying, I just say it. I just blurt it out.
Forgive me if I had made a mistake.
Please, I beg you, bad memories. please go and stop haunting my dreams.
Abang, thank you for staying with me. I know I'm not always fun to be with
just know that I'm grateful.
I may get mad at such little silly things and I may cry over ridiculous shit. But when I apologize for what I've done, I truly mean it.