fuck all the bullshit,

Monday, April 09, 2012 | 0 Comments

I know it will have a lot of grammatical errors but yeah man, it's a learning process. people make mistakes, so do I.

I lay on my bed while typing this entry and I'm not in my mood.
People nowadays make me feel so frustrated. I hate to think about them.
Even though they were from the past, but yeah still.
They left a deep impression that I might not forget.

We ignore each other and try to pretend all these people doesn't exist but deep down we know it wasn't supposed to be like this.

I mean us. Yes, us.

I know I should let go all these shit memories in my mind.

Kick out all these memories but yet, I'm still thinking about it.

Why? Why people always disturbing my life?

I don't give any damn to em.

I smiled and act like nothing is wrong its called putting shit inside and acting strong.

But deep inside my heart, no one knows how does it feels.

You know what? I've been thinking too hard.

I hate getting flashbacks from things I don't want to remember.

Respect people's feeling.

Even if it doesn't mean anything to you but it could be mean everything to them.

And guess what, I would say damn you bitch for all the bullshit that I've been through.

As sometimes happens, I regret with my life.

Thought it's easy to move, but I was 101% wrong.

People come and go in my life and I don't give any fuck at their life but they left a stain in my life.

Everything has changed now, and one thing you should know, I barely even know myself.

I just don't know why.

You know how funny when I'm having a moment when I pretend like I don't care but actually deep in my heart I feel like I wanna kill her for real.

People don't change but they're just pretend.

Dear people in the past that came into my life,

I don't hate you but I'm just not necessarily excited about your existence.

Sometimes strangers mean world to me and sometimes I think they're just bullshit.

Sometimes, I say things that I don't even mean.

And other times, I say things that I do mean.

I say things that I end up regretting.

I don't think what about I'm saying, I just say it. I just blurt it out.

Forgive me if I had made a mistake.

Please, I beg you, bad memories. please go and stop haunting my dreams.

Abang, thank you for staying with me. I know I'm not always fun to be with


just know that I'm grateful.

I may get mad at such little silly things and I may cry over ridiculous shit. But when I apologize for what I've done, I truly mean it.

she's just a stranger,

Monday, April 09, 2012 | 0 Comments

This late evening when I woke up, I had this uneasy feeling that I can't really give a name to. This feeling that you feel like something bad is going to happen, but you think you're being paranoid, so you try to ignore it, but it still comes back to you, like obb can my description be any longer? know what i mean? I felt that. I'm scared because there's only one like you in this world.

Sometimes I wish I could go away from this shitty place.
Sometimes I wish that things would back to normal but they don't.
I feel like why all this bullshit things keep bothering me?

You do not feel what I feel. 
Can you imagine when strangers grab your happiness?
You just don't feel it.

Everyone in your life is going to hurt you.
But you just have to wait and figure out which people worth in pain.

I'm laughing at myself because I'm being so paranoid with all this.
Why so sudden you come to our life?
Bitch will always be a bitch.

Wait for your turn, okay?
Your turn will come and at that time there's one word that you'll say.
Hurt. It is true. Its hurt. But you deserve. 

the reason why i tell you this, is not to ask for sympathy. 
NO! it's to tell you guys about instinct.

When you have this uneasy, deep gut, hard-to-explain feeling, and you feel like something's gonna happen to you or people around you, trust it. take necessary actions, if you expected it. but when you can't, pray.
God made things happen to us, good and bad, for us to learn. and from this experience, i definitely learnt.
i learnt that i should trust my instincts, be careful, be more patient when driving, be thankful, and practise my reflexes.

It's okay to be afraid. Because no one can tell what will happen next.
In one moment, you're the top of the world.
You like make people proud of you. But no one know, deep inside your heart actually you're alone. 

If you ask me, "am I okay?" I'll say, yes.
But when you ask me when I'll be okay, I'm not sure.
Because I still remember the bad memories and I still remember you, girl.

Have you ever looked back at the past and realized you were an idiot?
Yes, you are.
There's no point where you start doubting about yourself.
Forgiving is not forgetting.

In relationship, SORRY doesn't always mean begging for forgiveness. 
Sometimes, it's another way of saying "Can we just save this relationship without breaking up?"

For God sake, I'm learning to forget all this bullshit and her.
But for the things that you have done, you will always remembered.

So, yeah. I am smiling right now.

you should know this,

Monday, April 09, 2012 | 0 Comments

I hate two faced people. I don't know which face I need to slap first.
Oh biatches, come on.
If you don't like me, because I'm better than you, just admit it.
It's not my fault if your man want me ahakssss ;p

But seriously,
I didn't mean to hurt anyone. People need to care about others feeling.
If you don't like me, who the hell cares. I don't give you any damn.
Save the drama for your mama!

You think you're good enough huh? No, you don't.
People keep talking shit about me. 
U said you not a hoe.. alright, no doubt. Next time you say that, be sure to wipe your mouth.

I do sins. A lot. You also do sins.
People make mistakes, so people don't judge others.

To all haters, do what you do. I sure as hell ain't gonna waste my time on you.
U Swear you know me. Cuz you heard my name.
BUT If you ever really met me. You would know the game. Drama never ends & haters are all the same. They smile to your face & spit on your name!

Just think.. "dogs don't bark if they know the person"
So yeah, haters. keep talking, you're making me famous and I'm not Rihanna to love the way you lie ;')

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