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she's just a stranger,

Monday, April 09, 2012 | 0 Comments

This late evening when I woke up, I had this uneasy feeling that I can't really give a name to. This feeling that you feel like something bad is going to happen, but you think you're being paranoid, so you try to ignore it, but it still comes back to you, like obb can my description be any longer? know what i mean? I felt that. I'm scared because there's only one like you in this world.


Sometimes I wish I could go away from this shitty place.
Sometimes I wish that things would back to normal but they don't.
I feel like why all this bullshit things keep bothering me?


You do not feel what I feel. 
Can you imagine when strangers grab your happiness?
You just don't feel it.


Everyone in your life is going to hurt you.
But you just have to wait and figure out which people worth in pain.


I'm laughing at myself because I'm being so paranoid with all this.
Why so sudden you come to our life?
Bitch will always be a bitch.


Wait for your turn, okay?
Your turn will come and at that time there's one word that you'll say.
Hurt. It is true. Its hurt. But you deserve. 



the reason why i tell you this, is not to ask for sympathy. 
NO! it's to tell you guys about instinct.

When you have this uneasy, deep gut, hard-to-explain feeling, and you feel like something's gonna happen to you or people around you, trust it. take necessary actions, if you expected it. but when you can't, pray.
God made things happen to us, good and bad, for us to learn. and from this experience, i definitely learnt.
i learnt that i should trust my instincts, be careful, be more patient when driving, be thankful, and practise my reflexes.


It's okay to be afraid. Because no one can tell what will happen next.
In one moment, you're the top of the world.
You like make people proud of you. But no one know, deep inside your heart actually you're alone. 


If you ask me, "am I okay?" I'll say, yes.
But when you ask me when I'll be okay, I'm not sure.
Because I still remember the bad memories and I still remember you, girl.


Have you ever looked back at the past and realized you were an idiot?
Yes, you are.
There's no point where you start doubting about yourself.
Forgiving is not forgetting.


But.. 
In relationship, SORRY doesn't always mean begging for forgiveness. 
Sometimes, it's another way of saying "Can we just save this relationship without breaking up?"


For God sake, I'm learning to forget all this bullshit and her.
But for the things that you have done, you will always remembered.


So, yeah. I am smiling right now.

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